Check your expectations at the door

A Christian life must be a  reflection of God’s love and mercy and glory; a constant striving to be more and more like Jesus in every aspect.

Earlier today I was thinking about my future. And about God. I’ve been asking God to help me walk in his calling. During worship I got to thinking what that meant, what I was actually asking.

So we can’t all be pastors or teachers or leaders, right? Do you think then that some people are called to clean toilets?

What would you do if God spoke to you, in a perfect clarity, that he wanted you to go and work as a hygienist, regardless of your plans, dreams, your higher education. You could easily get a job far better paid and fitting. Say God is even more specific, telling you where exactly and why – there is someone working there who needs to hear the gospel, and who you will meet and in time, will help them come to salvation. Would the sacrifice be worth it then? Does that change anything?

I was just meditating on the topic of obedience and the Christian life. Are we not called to serve God and be ready to leave all earthly possessions? Serve not money, but God, for you can’t serve both? Collect treasures in heaven. And in the salvation of just one lost soul Heaven celebrates!

So a very poignant question remains – does God want you to be happy?
Well .. do your earthly parents want you to be happy? Of course they do (or they should), any normal parent wants this for their child,, but can the child always see that? I didn’t think of injections as a good thing ever, I saw them inly as painful torture my parents had me go through. But those prevented me from getting ill thus aiding my current happiness.
I’m not saying it’s exactly like that, but God does have the full picture, knows what’s best for us far better than we think we do and let’s face it – we won’t always understand the reason, because God’s logic is far superior to ours, far beyond our grasp and understanding. He takes the silly things in life  and makes them great to stump those who call themselves wise. In the same way we couldn’t expect to always understand why we feel God leading us where it doesn’t make sense for you – which is where you learn to really trust him and even if for no other reason at all, isn’t that worth it?

But it’s still hard to do. If we are born again, transformed children and followers of God, wouldn’t God’s will be unquestionably the right choice, which we’d leap toward to make our Father’s heart proud? So why isn’t it?

Can God ask you to give up your dream and trust him in doing something that doesn’t make sense and that wouldn’t be enjoyable? Can God ask you to give away all your money and follow His lead?  Of course He can, He’s God!
And of course he leaves us the choice of obeying or disobeying. If you refuse he might appoint another person for the job, and He will still love you just the same.
It will be you who’s missing out mostly. You and possibly whoever else God had in mind for you to reach.

I’m just making a point. I don’t think He generally does that.I mean one has to be living so close to God every second of every day, that he wouldn’t hesitate if God says go. But we’re not like that, obviously and we complain, maybe do it, but with a rotten attitude – in which case we risk missing the whole point of the exercise, gaining absolutely nothing from the experience..or we even pretend to not have heard at all.

P.S. (Luke 16:10)


the most beautiful lady

I met a lady so beautiful it made me cry.

She wandered into the store with a nice warm smile looking for my mum, who wasn’t there at the moment.We chatted for a bit and then mum showed up.After the lady left to go about her day my mum told me more about her.

She lives alone and has no family to speak of, except a sister in US. She says that,  because she’s ugly no one really gives her any attention, apart from my mum. That’s why she comes to the store to chat. She faithfully does my mum favours and buys her small gifts every now and then. She also buys the little random items that no one else would buy from the shop for whatever reason, because she relates. Then she gives them away.

After mum told me all that I couldn’t help but tear up and this lady.. although not particularly physically appealing, seemed to me like the most beautiful person I had met in a long time. I kept thinking about her all throughout the day and on to the next.

I think her story will stick with me for a while.



the lesson

Вчера гледах с брат ми български филм на име Урокът. Като европейско кино естествено, действието се развиваше дооста бавно и потискащо. Та този филм го гледахме в продължение на близо час и половина. В един момент (поредната) сърце-раздираща драма беше на път да се случи в така или иначе тежкия живот на главната героиня и аз не издържах. Станах и отидох в другата стая да се занимавам с нещо друго.Естествено от другата стая все пак чух, че се е случило точно това, което очаквах. Тази жена беше буквално на дъното, и макар че се беше трудила усърдно и честно, всички и отказваха помощ.

Краят не изчаках и заспах преди да е свършил филма за да питам брат ми какво е станало накрая. Докато се опитвах да заспя премислях какво какъв какъв беше “урокът”. Дали, че животът без пари е скапан? Че хората лъжат и не можеш да се довериш на никого?

Не знам, но аз друга поука си извадих. Като цяло, не за този специално. Според мен за да е интересна една история трябва да има някаква трудност за преодоляване. Момент, в който да покажеш геройство, да се пречупи нещо в теб, да надвиеш плътта си. Момент, в който да се довериш на Бог, защото сам не можеш да се справиш. Да се предадеш. Ако всичко върви по мед и масло, няма как да го оцениш.И така заключвам, че трудностите са необходими до някаква степен.

Та. Да се върнем към основната тема. В такъв момент аз се предадох и излязох от стаята. Въобще има филми, които са трудни за гледане, но ако веднъж си го видял и знаеш какво ще се случи и как ще свърши с хепи енд* тогава става малко по-лесно. Знаеш със сигурност, че накрая всичко ще е наред и злото даже може да се обърне за добро. Защото иначе филма би те оставил неудоволетворен.
И така – не се отказвай.

“When we hit our lowest point we are open to the greatest change.” – Avatar Aang



* (не винаги, но често) и как накрая някак всичко се е подредило както трябва. Така завършват филмите които аз харесвам. Ако завърши с хаос и разочарование и  feeling of dread, директно отива в категорията на “never again”.

не спрях (птп)

Снощи ми дойде една доста точна метафора за първата ми връзка. Понеже уча за шофьорски изпит..

През първото пътно произшествие преминах невредима.
Случи се на един кръстопът.
Катастрофа, но с минимални последствия – само леко ожулване (което забелязах доста по-късно).
Аз си продължих напред и дори не намалих. Не спрях.
Мисля, че се опитах, но колата не поддаде.
Вината беше моя. Не съобразих.
Оставих те, видях на огледалото, смачкан до неузнаваемост.
И не спрях. Дори не намалих.

thought of the day

I get lost. A lot.
For whatever reason I can’t seem to be able to stick to the map route and always end up wandering off and finding myself at a dead end having to go right back. Might be becaue in the back of my mind I’m wishing to find a secret road, like a treasure. The road less traveled.

What they don’t tell you though, is that 9/10 times it will be a dead end or really nothing impressive. But it’s also to a great extent what makes that one time so amazing and special. What I believe is that the struggle to the top plays a crucial role in how awesome the view sitting at the top is. Like you have fought for something, achieved something. You have earned it.

So therefore my advice (to myself as well as to you) is don’t be afraid of the obstacles and adversities which  life will inevitably throw at you. Rather embrace them and make the most of each experience – good or bad. Use them to get stronger

bursting bubbles

In our day and society I find that our worldview is created by the media – that’s no secret of course. I just wanted to give a warning. Thoughts, opinions and morals are strongly influenced, if not entirely created by what you perceive and this can lead to some dire complications.
There’s some real bull***t being preached out there.
Think about things, always, question what you see and hear.

And so please, please teach your kids morals and right from wrong before letting them watch whatever’s on TV.

On that note, also don’t raise your children in a Christian bubble – solely bible stories and ignorance about the outside world and all in it. Rather introduce them to it and educate them, speak with them, answer their questions, don’t just brush those aside, because if you don’t teach them someone else will. Challenge them.

It’s perfectly fine and I think healthy, to let them watch Harry Potter (etc)  for example – yes it features wizards and magic but do you think it will have them tempted to play with the occult? Honestly? Not if you have taught them well and if they truly know Jesus they won’t be. Watch it with them!

It can teach them some good and valuable life lessons like friendship, fighting for what’s right, etc. Their imagination will also develop. Also, c’mon, it’s pop culture. They will need to be able to participate in discussions and understand references.Otherwise they will always feel left out of the group.

Childhood forms so much of one’s personality, even throughout adulthood and it’s bewildering  that parents are so careless anyway.

P.S. It’s ok to disagree with a movie, or a character in a book, etc. Some are even there exactly to make us question our ideas and thoughts and that’s alright. That’s quality, consider those, but don’t feel like it’s necessarily the right thing.