a dip in the pool of online dating

To begin with, my expectations were low from the start. I did not believe I would find someone interesting аnd mostly decided on this experiment to maybe understand this culture better. I also saw a cute romantic comedy recently, so there’s that..
I tried HotorNot, Tinder and OkCupid, in that order.I will not go into detail, but I want to just share my general impression.

Some people search for love – true love, romance and eventually a family. Others are mostly interested in casual sex, these are not necessarily the individuals who send photos of their “junk”.
In HotorNot I matched with maybe 100 guys. Roughly 8% of them messaged me. Fair enough, I’m not exactly a beauty queen, but I’d message me if I were a guy. However plenty of “undesirables” did message me. There was literally nothing about them that attracted me, so no replies were given. Sorry.

At one point I had to remind myself that these are actual people. As I was scrolling through probably over a 100 different guys’ photos at 1am I realized they had all become almost made up to me, I saw them as photos and nothing more. I was judging them solely on their appearance, knowing literally nothing else about their person. How screwed up is that. After that I tried to imagine a date with each one, how they would look, where they would take me, their manners and topics of choosing, etc.  Either way, the longest conversation with I match I had there lasted about 5 days of on-off chatting. Meh.

Then on Tinder I purposely wrote funny descriptions, puns etc. Again, the messages I received were mostly generic and the conversations soon were exhausted and eventually died. Some trends I saw on guys’ profiles: photos with 1) pets, 2)babies, 3)girls, 4) shirtless or 5) ALL of the above.   What I gathered from the experience is that the app has grown into the purpose of finding a hook-up rather than actual “true love”relationship. ANd OH LARD, the awkward moment when I kept seeing a guy I know and didn’t exactly want to swipe right, but I was also super curious if he swiped right, so I kept closing the app whenever his profile showed up and I never did find out what he swiped. heh.

On OkCupid I liked the option to answer questions and find matches based on those. What I enjoyed about this most was that the questions would make me think, what do I think about -, or how would I react if – ..etc. Had some nice coversations, which without fail, would bore me at one point, plus I was already quite tired of “meeting” so many people, telling them the same stuff about myself again and again, and who would never really engage in my creative ways to talk, or just be terribly boring with it; “and then what”..
I got a match of 98%. I met him. 0% chemistry.

In the end I learned that I am no good for that kind of dating. The main reason – the virtual dating world is very fast paced. You have to impress visually, put effort into making your profile creative, funny, just different in some way, and even then there’s no guarantee, as the pool is big and there is plenty of fish in the sea. The line of thought is “he’s fine, but surely there’s someone funnier, more interesting, cuter” etc, so you keep talking to 5 different guys you’re pretty sure aren’t right for you. Largely I’d say it was a waste of time. Me – I’m more like a beard that slowly grows on you  and at first it’s  kinda patchy and annoying, but with time you get used to it and begin to like it – gradually.
The truth is, after the experiment I still don’t feel like I understand the online dating culture, or men any better, so do comment and tell me your experiences or thoughts.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s